Self Care in Motherhood and in Life
How am I going to find the time to give back to myself? Perhaps by letting go of unnecessary distractions? Or maybe by learning to say no and slowing down?
The reason I am talking about self care this week is because I noticed I was being unloving to myself. Just yesterday, a friend complimented me for my body, but I still have the picture of my pre-pregnancy body as my goal of where I want to get to and I dismissed her compliment. I said, “Oh no it’s not that great yet.” My mind was instantly filled with thoughts of how I could improve my body.
I’ve done enough self-care-love work to know that our bodies are listening to everything we think and say. How did my body feel when I wasn’t being kind? Doesn’t self-care start with my thoughts?
If I were to redirect my thoughts towards kindness I’m sure I would miraculously find time, energy, and space to care for myself despite how busy life gets as a mom. For me, the most radical self care routine is to watch my mind and my non-constructive habits, and transmute them into higher vibrational frequencies - which simply means redirecting myself into constructive thoughts and habits.
And before I go, I would like to write a note to self:
Remember commerce is always trying to earn from my lack of self awareness, whether through beauty products that promise a total makeover, plastic surgery, pills that promise rapid weight loss, or even emotional and mental health miracles. The sky's the limit as far as all the things one can do to help bring ‘love’ or ‘awareness’ back to self.
Before giving my money away to false promises, remember that self love starts within. It starts with looking at oneself in the mirror, looking deep within and seeing ‘it’. It starts by smiling at oneself, being okay with all the imperfections, and working at including self, mind, body, and soul, to every moment of life.
This conversation brings me back to a Ram Dass quote, “I’m loving awareness”, and it reminds me that beneath our bones, muscles, organs we are pure awareness. Being conscious that you are aware at every moment in life is the most radical (and intense) self care practice ever done. When Ram Dass says, “I’m loving awareness,” he is combining the buddhist approach of loving and kindness to awareness, which is a match made in heaven.
If you catch yourself being unkind or unloving towards yourself or anyone else, connecting with the Ram Dass mantra, “I’m loving awareness”, may give you enough time to pause, make sense of what’s happening and redirect your thoughts. I would add that you can also pause by simply connecting with your body and noticing your breath moving. Wiggling your toes is also a nice way to quickly come back. My meditation below was created with this idea of staying embodied in mind.
Below are some resources on self-care and self-awareness:
- Ram Dass: Love Serve Remember Foundation
- Ram Dass: I Am Loving Awareness
- 10 Mindful ways to take care of yourself
- Mindfulness and self-care: Why should I care?
- Self-love series: Love yourself teachings
Edited by: Lily Zara